My client didn’t see it coming.

One of his key team members gave notice this week, and it caught him off guard. The resentment, the negativity — none of it had surfaced in their weekly 1:1s.

These kinds of surprises are tough for two reasons.

First, there’s the immediate fallout: managing the exit, the ripple effect on the team, morale and workload.

But second — and more unsettling — are the questions that follow: What else is slipping through the cracks? What else am I missing?

The truth is, people often hide their true emotions at work. What you see is just the surface — the tip of the iceberg. Under that is an entire, well, iceberg of unspoken thoughts and feelings.

And when you’re moving at 100 mph, you miss even more.

This social awareness — the ability to read between the lines and notice what’s not being said — is a critical piece of emotional intelligence. It’s about picking up on subtle clues others miss.

That's why, as a founder, your ability to observe is one of your greatest assets.

Every human interaction is a data point. Body language, micro-expressions, even the way someone pauses before responding are signals that hint at what’s really happening below the surface.

So how can you avoid being blindsided? Here are three steps:

1️⃣ Stay consistent with your check-ins. No matter how busy you are, prioritize the 1:1s. Each one is a chance to gather data, pick up clues and create trust.

2️⃣ Tune in to subtle signals. Look for small changes in behavior—avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, vague answers like “yeah” or “uh huh.” They can be signals that something’s off.

I remember one Zoom call with a client where, halfway through the conversation, they physically moved locations. It seemed random, but later I realized why — they needed space to process what I was saying. That shift wasn’t just logistics. It was a signal.

3️⃣ Create space for the hard conversations. Make it easy for people to be real with you. Ask, “What’s one thing I probably don’t want to hear?” And when they answer, don’t get defensive or interrupt — just listen. Focus on finding out why they feel that way.

This approach helped one of my founder clients turn around a disengaged team.

It was a routine monthly review, but he could tell the energy in the room was off. People looked checked out.

So instead of pushing through the agenda, the founder paused and said, “Let’s stop for a second. I can tell something’s up. How are you all really feeling?”

That one question cracked the room open. People started sharing frustrations they’d been holding in. And afterward, they sent messages thanking him for creating a space where they could be honest.

One employee said: “I was ready to quit, but now I feel heard. Thank you.”

That’s the power of noticing the small, nearly invisible signals. When you increase how much of the iceberg you see, you have more information.

And that will help you make better decisions and keep your team engaged and motivated.

Love,

Renita

p.s. When you’re ready to level up your leadership, here’s how I can help:

👉🏻 The High-EQ Founder, a cohort course where founders turbo-charge their leadership communication skills in just 3 weeks. Sign up for the waitlist here.

👉🏻 1:1 Founder Coaching. Schedule a call to get acquainted here and let's see if we're a good fit.

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